How to lose a girl in a month or less

 How to lose a girl in a month or less

So we start with a girl who has a liking for you. Who sees something special in you, who believes in you. Who cares for you, who wants to know how your day was, how your health is, and if something in this crazy world is bothering you. And then you have to start asking yourself,  "Something about it feels impossible. There has to be something wrong." Are you telling me someone actually likes me? They like this version of me? The one who has crossed 30, who is still not disciplined enough, the one who is still unclear on what life he wants to live, the one who still doesn't feel strong enough. Him? No way. That can’t be right! There is clearly something else. It's one of two things - either this person doesn't really "love" you or that this person "thinks" they love you but they might be loving a version of you in their minds. The real you, once they finally know you. And boy are they in for a surprise when that bubble bursts and you disappoint them. So no, that love is not real. How can it be? The math just doesn't support it. 

So what do you do? Of course you need to end it before this vehicle, tugging along smoothly for now, reaches its inevitable demise. Because deep down, you cannot accept that you are capable of being loved. You are so busy fighting demons you conjure with your own mind, you can't see that someone sees you as someone they can spend the rest of their lives with, someone who trusts you, someone who, despite her insecurities and lack of trust, confided in you, let you in her embrace and past her defenses. You become so incapable of accepting love that you would rather deem the other person a fool than accept that it's possible their love is real. Because you are so convinced you are unworthy of it, you just cannot fathom it. And so now you roam the rest of your days having glimpsed heaven without the courage to enter its gates. For it's your fate to hunger for love but lack the capacity to stomach it. 


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